I won't give up
by orangedebateboxes
Summary: Despite his best efforts to forget her, Tony Dinozzo finds it harder then he thought to forget Ziva. He thought Zoe Keates was they key to letting Ziva go, but when things don't go well between the two of them, he realizes that he will never be able to give up on Ziva. Meanwhile, Ziva is having her own problems forgetting Tony. Is it enough to pull her back to DC?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. _Italics_ is the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz which I don't own either.

Warning: Tiva ahead.

Ziva stared out the window. It was days like today that she missed her home at NCIS. She missed HIM. But Ziva didn't regret leaving. She had needed a break from all the death that their job brought. She would go back someday-she was sure of that-but until then, she needed to feel ALIVE.

...

 _And when your needing you space,_

 _to do some navigating,_

 _I'll be here patiently waiting,_

 _to see what you find_

...

Tony stared out of his apartment window. He sighed. This day had gone from bad to worse. It started with his car breaking down. Then the team had caught a kidnapping case. It had pushed them all hard, and he had hardly eaten all day. He blamed this and other recently bad new to his attitude toward Zoe earlier that day when they had met. It quickly led to fight that ended with them breaking up.

Tony closed his eyes. He could blame all the bad days he's had for his breakup, but in his heart he knew it wasn't the REAL reason he broke up with Zoe.

It's because he's in love with someone else. Zoe had said as much before she closed the door on him.

"No Tony! We can't fix this! Maybe we could if you loved but you don't! Your not over her. Your still waiting for her to come back. You're just using me to replace her until she comes back."

"It's not like that!"

"So you can look me in the eye and tell me that if Ziva walked through the door right now, that you'd still be trying to get back with me?"

Tony didn't reply, but the floor suddenly became very interesting. "Zoe," he started.

"No Tony. It's over." She closed the door and Tony went to his apartment.

Looking now, Tony realizes that Zoe is right. He loves Ziva, and there is no way he is going to stop loving her. So he is going to wait.

'It might take years,' he thought, 'but I'm not giving up on you Ziva David.'

...

 _'Cause even the stars,_

 _they burn. Some even fall to the earth.  
_

 _I won't give up on us._

 _Even if the sky's get rough_

 _I'm giving you all my love_

 _Still looking up.._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you so much for all of the encouragement! I wasn't going to continue this, but since so many asked I decided to see where it'll lead. I hope you enjoy this as much as you did the previous chapter._**

 _Spoilers for pretty much any season with Ziva. I can't remember the name of the specific episodes I mentioned in this so... just be warned.  
_

 _..._

Ziva stared out the window of the airplane. 'This is it,' she thought. She was finally ready to come back to DC. She had been planning her return for a while now, but she was always to scared to do it before. No, scared wasn't the right word. Worried was more like it. Worried that the team she once knew would no longer be the ones that she left. Worried that they would hate her for leaving the way she did. Worried that Tony had forgotten her.

When she first left, she told herself that she should forget Tony. 'He'll have moved on by now.' She told herself. That day that they parted, she had left him with no way to contact her, and no hope that she would return. But despite her best attempts, she couldn't forget the the dark haired NCIS Very Special Agent, who had some-how managed to break down her barriers and wormed his way into her heart.

As the airplane descended and people started to un-board, she found herself hesitating at the hatch of the air-plane. Could she really do this? Go back?

Memories of her past at NCIS flooded her. When she first walked up to the bull-pen, and met Tony for the first time. McGee, and her talking to witnesses, getting tackled by Abby. Meetings in 'Gibb's office', and Jimmy and Ducky examining a body. She took a step, then faltered again as other memories came rushing back. Jenny's death, the shoot-out at Director's Vance's house, and the bomb that exploded at NCIS. Those were just a few of the bad memories that seemed to plaque her, but it was enough to make her question if coming back was such a good idea. Then she remembered Somalia. That hadn't been one of her favorite memories either, but when she remembered the look on Tony and McGee's when they helped her escape and the look on Gibb's face when they caught up to him, something cemented in her.

Those three people had risked their lives for her. Not just that one time in Somalia, but countless other times as well. Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy had been constant friends for her. They didn't complain, just stood by her side. All of them. And Ziva made up her mind. Once and for all, for better or for worse, Ziva would finally go back.

 **A/N So there was chapter 2! What did you think? I know... there was Tony in this chapter, but don't worry, he'll show up! Thank you SO much the wonderful reviews you all left me! This is my first NCIS story so I wasn't sure how it would go.**

 **I am sorry for the long wait, but I was gone on a trip and didn't get back until recently.**


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N What is this? An update?! Yes everyone, I'm back! I finally finished the rough-outline for this, so I figured I could start posting chapters again!_**

 ** _So, in celebration of NCIS starting up again (I just finished watching the first episode of season 13!) I give you Chapter 3 of I Won't Give Up!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.  
_**

 ** _..._**

 _And Ziva made up her mind. Once and for all, for better or for worse, Ziva would finally go back._

 **2 weeks earlier**

Tony wasn't sure what he was doing or why he was there, but he knew it was to late to turn back. He cautiously took another step closer to the gravestone.

What was he doing here? Did he expect her come back and comfort him? It was too late, he knew. She was dead, and she wasn't coming back.

Dead.

The word struck a cord in Tony.

Dead. So many people were dead. People that would never come back again.  
Is that why he was here? In the middle of a cemetery? To remind himself that no matter how hard he looked, he wouldn't find a grave marking the death of Ziva David? To remind himself that as long as Ziva's alive that there is a chance she'll come back?

Tony dug inside his coat pocket and pulled out the necklace that Ziva had given him the last time he'd seen her. He didn't know exactly why he'd brought it with him today. Usually it stayed in a desk drawer at his apartment but for some reason he'd grabbed it before he left today. Tony played with it in his hands. He wondered why Ziva had given it to him in the first place. On one hand, it could be a reminder that there was always the chance that one day she would come back for it. On the other hand though, it could've served as a sign that she really had left NCIS for good.

Tony shook his head and headed to his car.

He really hated cemeteries.

...

"You're late Dinozzo."

"Sorry Boss." Tony muttered as he sat down at his desk.

Gibbs watched him as he turned on his computer and greeted Ellie and McGee. Something was off about his Senior Field Agent, he could feel it. And if his gut was anything to go by, it had something to do with Zoe Keats. Or rather, the lack of Zoe Keats. When Tony had started seeing her, he had mentioned her at least once a day. Usually it was in a passing remark shared between him and McGee, but sometimes it was more than that. These past few weeks though, Tony had been suspiciously quiet about his relationship with her. Add that, coupled with the fact that Tony had been late on more than one occasion recently, and Gibbs figured that something was wrong. Gibbs knew that he would have to talk to Tony about it soon, but now wasn't the time or place.

"McGee!" He called. "Start working on getting the bank records for our petty officer. Dinozzo, Bishop, go talk to his commanding officer again. See if he knows anything about the fake ID's we found."

"Yes Boss!"

"On it Boss!" His agents called as they snapped into gear.

Gibbs got up and made his way down to autopsy.

 _..._

"Ah, Good morning Jethro!" Ducky called when he heard the familiar _ding_ of the elevator.

"Morning Duck. Got any thing for me?"

"I'm afraid not, Jethro. This body has been usually silent." Ducky paused and looked at Gibbs. "But our dead Marine isn't why you're really here is it?"

It still surprised Gibbs how Ducky could read his mind sometimes. "Dinozzo." He answered. "He came in late again today. He's up to something."

Ducky sighed. "Ah, yes. Anthony has been acting rather unusual lately. I have to admit, that I'm quite worried about him. Tony likes hiding behind 'everything is fine' even when it's not. Has he told you anything?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No Duck, but he'll talk when he's ready."

Ducky nodded. "I'm sure he will Jethro. But you know a nudge in the right direction never hurt anyone before."

Gibbs smiled. "You got that right."

...

 **A/N Well there you have it! Thank you so much for being so patience with me! If you have any thoughts on this chapter then please let me know! I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing skills. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of NCIS.**

 _ **A/N Just to let you know, I added a paragraph to chapter 3. It's not a whole lot, but I wanted to add it in anyways. I'm sorry for not updating sooner! I would've done it sooner but a lot of unexpected things came up. I'm back now and things should get quieter around here, so updating once a week shouldn't be a problem. :)**_

Ziva wove her way through the busy airport. It was already 10 pm and she wanted to get out of the stuffy airport as soon as possible. The 12 hour flight to DC had not been a restful journey for her and she was tired.  
It took a good deal of time, but Ziva finally made it out and hailed a taxi.

"Where to Miss?" The cabby asked her as she got in.  
'Where to?' Ziva thought. That question really hadn't occurred to her before. She was so used to living DC she hadn't made any reservations at any hotels.  
"Is there a hotel close by?" She asked.  
"Yes ma'am. Will the Marriott work?"  
"Yes, it will."  
"Okay-dokey, then! By the way I'm Mike."

"Ziva."

Mike started the engine and began weaving through the DC traffic.

When they were stopped at a red light,he turned to Ziva.

"So, you visiting DC for pleasure or for work?" He asked.

Ziva thought about it for a moment. "A little bit of both I suppose." She finally answered.

"Oh?" He questioned.

"I am here to see former colleagues of mine."

"Really?" Mike sounded genuinely surprised at that.

"Yes, I am. Does that surprise you so much?"

Mike shook his head. "No, It's just that most people who come here to visit family or friends already have a place to stay."

Ziva thought about that for a moment. She supposed it was true that she could stay with someone that she knew.

'But they don't know I'm here.' She thought.

'They'll have to find out eventually!' Another part of Ziva argued. This internal battle went on for a few moments before one side finally won.

"Wait!" She called. "Stop."  
"Miss?" Mike asked.  
"I changed my mind. I don't want to go to the hotel." she smiled. "I know somewhere else I can stay."

NCISNICSNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Ziva quietly opened the door and stepped inside. He wasn't there, but she knew where she would find him.  
Ziva made her way though his house before coming to a door. She opened it and gently mad her way down the steps. There he was, just like Ziva imagined he would be. She couldn't even begin to count the number of times she'd come here and seen him doing exactly what he was doing now. The familiar sight was refreshing for Ziva and helped calm her nerves. Even though his back was turned towards her he somehow still knew she was there.

"Ziva."  
He slowly turned around to face her.

If Ziva had had any doubts in her mind that coming to his house had been a bad idea, they fled from her mind when she saw his smile.

Ziva smiled back. "Hello, Gibbs."

...

 _ **A/N**_ **So what do you think? I know this was a short chapter, but I'm planning on posting Chapter 5 Tues. to make up for the late updating and short chapter. BTW I'm always looking for ways to improve this story, so don't be afraid to give me criticism or tell me what I need to work on! Thank you for all the encouragement you have given me. I'm so happy people are enjoying reading this! Oh yeah! I mentioned 'unexpected things happened' and one of those 'things' was having some relatives come over. We started talking about NCIS though, and it turns out that this distant relative of mine that was visiting us, grew up next door to an actor who plays a recurring character in NCIS! Huh, small world!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Previously:**_ ** _"Ziva."_ _He slowly turned around to face her. Ziva smiled back. "Hello, Gibbs."_**

..

 _48 hours earlier-_

It was Friday morning and most of the team had not arrived at the bullpen yet. Tony was early this time, he wasn't about to risk coming late again and tipping Gibbs off. Gibbs being Gibbs, was already there.

"Looks like we're the only ones here." Gibbs said roughly as Tony set his backpack down.

"...Yep." 'Oh boy! This is not sounding good for me,' Tony thought.

"Something on your mind Dinozzo?"

"What?" Tony looked at his boss. "Oh, ah, no."

Silence.

For a whole five minutes. Tony was counting. Where was McGee when he needed him? By now Tony knew Gibbs wanted to speak to him, but he couldn't come up with a good reason. "Sooo-" he started.

"Zoe Keats."

Ah. There it was. No preamble or subtle nudging. Just point blank, typical Gibbs style. "What about her?" Tony squirmed.

"I dunno. You tell me Dinozzo."

"Well I don't know what to tell you boss." Tony deflected.

Gibbs gave him a stern look. "Mmhm."

Tony sighed and ducked his head. "Things didn't go so well for us." Tony paused, hoping Gibbs would leave it at that.

"And…"

-a hope that was apparently dashed.

"And so we broke up!" He shouted. Gibbs looked at him. Judging from Tony's expression Gibbs wasn't the only one startled by his sudden out-burst. Tony shook his head. Why did he react so harshly? It wasn't like he'd never broken up before. Gibbs knew that. Heck, everyone knew that! So why did he just shout at Gibbs? He wasn't really THAT upset over it, was he? "I'm sorry Boss, don't know why I yelled at you like that. Just sorta came out before I could stop it I guess." Tony stopped there, and Gibbs didn't push him to say more but it got Tony thinking. Soon after the rest of the team caught up with them ( _now_ they come) and Tony dropped the matter all-together. He needed to focus on his job, that's what was important.

But that night, it was all Tony could think about.

...

 **A/N Soo I'm back! This chapter was hard to write. REALLY hard. I couldn't get it the way I liked it for a LONG time which is one of the (many) reasons (including computer trouble :P) I haven't been able to update sooner. :( Hopefully I will be able to continue to update fairly regularly (cross your fingers!) but regardless I know I will finish this no matter what.**

 ** _THANK YOU SO MUCH_ for sticking with me! I can't express how amazing you guys are! Really. I mean it! So thanks again, and see you (Soon!) in the next chapter where we will see what Gibbs says to Ziva about her return... :-)  
**

 _~ In his heart a man plans his course, but the the Lord determines his steps._  
 _Proverbs 16:9_


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N_** ** _Enjoy chapter 6!_**

 _ **Previously:** "Ziva." __He slowly turned around to face her. Ziva smiled back. "Hello, Gibbs."_

 _..._

Ziva carefully made her way down the steps to the basement. Gibbs put his tool down and walked over to her. "You're back," he said.

She nodded. "It was time. As hard as it is, you took care of me when I needed it the most and I believe you deserve an honest explanation." Gibbs didn't say anything (functional mute) but waited for Ziva to continue, his gut sensing that this was something that she needed to say to him herself.  
"You see," she continued, "When I left I thought it was the best decision for everyone. I was, and still am, sick and tired of watching the people closest to me get hurt and killed. I used to think that being an NCIS agent was the best way to protect the people I cared most about, but I was wrong. I lost first Ari and then my Father. I shot him. I shot Ari, Gibbs. My own brother. What kind of person does that make me?" She searched his eyes, looking for an honest answer from the man who had become like an adoptive father to her. Gibbs put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "It wasn't you're fault, Ziva. Ari made his choice."  
"And what about Deena Bashan? Is it supposed to be her fault that she fell in love with Ari? Is it her own fault that her heart broke when he died; when I shot him?

"Ziva-"

"No, Gibbs! I am done. No more guns or violence. I WILL continue to fight but I will not harm another person at the same time. There. I said it, and I'm done."

Gibbs shook his head. "That's not why you came back Ziver. You didn't come here tonight to explain yourself to me. I know how you feel. When Shannon and Kelly died I started questioning why I was a Marine. What was the point if I couldn't save my family? Through time though I found another purpose for continuing. And that's why you came back Ziva. Not because you felt like you owed it to us. You came back because you need a reason to continue. You tried to build a boat with a pick-axe. I'm not saying you have to come back to NCIS as an agent, but you do need to know who you're fighting for. Start using a hammer instead Ziva."

 **A/N I'm so sorry it's so short! It was going to be part of of chapter 5, but I split it up because I wasn't done writing this part and I wanted to give you guys another chapter sooner. I didn't realize how short this was though.. I'm in the process of writing chapter 7, which should be up some time in the next 2 weeks. :)All feedback is greatly appreciated (and I'm not just saying that!).  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Gibbs made Ziva stay the night at his house - whether it was out of kindness or worry that she might bolt before morning, Ziva didn't know - but she chose not to contend with him and instead opted to grab an extra blanket from the hall closet and head to the guest room. It was rare that anyone stayed in the guest room, but Gibbs had insisted that she not sleep on the couch tonight. Ziva crept up to the door (her ninja skills at work, as Tony would say) and pried it open. She entered the room and took a good look around.

It had once been painted pink but it had faded to an almost white color over the years. There was a window above a small desk on the right side of the room and Ziva could easily imagine a young Kelly Gibbs staring out of it for hours day-dreaming. Every little thing about that room -from the chipped paint to the music box that was still on the dresser- spoke to Ziva about a girl that was full of energy and happiness. And, not for the first time, Ziva wished she could have met Gibbs' young daughter. He didn't speak often about his late wife and daughter but whenever he did there was always a bit of sadness in his eyes but something else as well. The words that Gibbs had spoken to her earlier that day replayed in her mind like a cassette player.

 _"That's not why you came back Ziver. You didn't come here tonight to explain yourself to me. I know how you feel. . . I found another purpose for continuing. That's why you came back Ziva."  
_

Ziva shook her head and spread the old blanket over the bed. Is that really why she had decided to come back to DC? Maybe . . . maybe not. Either way she knew now that she could not leave without seeing the others - no matter the outcome it might have.

As Ziva turned off the light and crawled into bed, she found herself smiling in spite of the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Tomorrow she would make plans to see the rest of her former teammates and worry about their reactions then. But for tonight - everything would be fine. There was a certain security about being here in Gibbs' house and that was the last thought she had as she settled into a gentle slumber.

...

 **THANK YOU so Much for all of the helpful and encouraging comments, as well as all of your patience. I can't believe this is technically AU now. . . Why did they have to kill Ziva? I feel terrible for leaving you all hanging for so long. :( So thank you again, and Merry (be-lated) Christmas!**

 **...**


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